if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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