I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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