hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize