my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
