Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
