Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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