I got chris browned last night
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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