Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
