I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
