Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
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She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?