I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
