My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.