she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void