I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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