You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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