I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
