I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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