i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
