Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
