If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
