I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
