You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
