Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
