Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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