i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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