That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
