i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
kristin has been a bad kristin
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
