I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize