some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize