There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
