FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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