What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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