Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
