but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
