Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
