i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
