i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
