I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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