So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
