Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
