ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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