I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I lost the right to judge tonight
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
