nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
