she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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