I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
