Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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