Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she woke up with a sticky ear
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
