Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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