you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
