Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
