I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize