Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am naked and annoyed.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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