is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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