so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
