there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
