I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
