is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
