I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My ATM looks so different sober.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well I just put wine in my tea
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
