I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
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I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
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Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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