I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
