Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
