I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
