I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
