I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
