Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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