im drinking this country out of the recession.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
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