there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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