I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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